


Everything will be okay.

by Youmeanjosh



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: A LOT of Angst, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Josh Lives, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-15
Updated: 2015-10-15
Packaged: 2018-04-26 13:50:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5007133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Youmeanjosh/pseuds/Youmeanjosh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh made it out alive. He is feeling utterly shit over what he did to his friends, and he calls Chris because he can't live with the guilt that is eating him alive anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything will be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Until dawn made me so emotional and I'm so sad that there is no way to save Josh, so here is an AU where he survives. Josh is precious and if there was SOMEONE that was gonna make it out alive it was Josh, so i AM SAD. THATS WHY I WROTE THIS!!! 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy this little au!! 8)

Josh didn't feel well.

  
To be honest, he felt absolutely terrible.

  
He was standing in front of the bathroom mirror, and he hated every part of what he saw. A pair of dark green eyes stared back at him, which he no longer recognised as his own. The grip around the sink beneath him was getting harder, his knuckles whitening.  
  
He hated himself.  
  
It had been 1 week since _the night_. That night he completely lost his mind and played that sick and twisted game on his friends. He made his friends go through a trauma they would never forget, and he thought it was a good idea at the time. It sickened him. It sickened him beyond words.  
  
He hadn't spoken to anyone since they got rescued from that hell hole and he remembered how horrible every one looked. The memory of his friends hurt and scared because of him, it would never disappear. It didn't matter how much he cried. It didn't matter how many times he would have nightmares about it. It would _never_ go away.  
  
The worst thing was that he knew that his friends were mad. He knew they hated him for what he did. He wanted to tell them that it was just a prank, a prank that had gone too far. He wanted them to understand that it wasn't his intentions to hurt anyone.

   
There were no ammunition in the gun he put in front of Ashley and Chris. The saw would never kill Ashley. It was rigged so that it would only massacre his own fake body. The words that spilled out from his mouth when Mike tied him to that chair, he regret them all. No one was supposed to be hurt.

  
He wasn't himself. He hadn't taken his meds.

  
And oh, how he regret it.  
  
His mind trailed over to Chris. The hurt look in his eyes when Josh revealed himself to him and Ashley. The disappointment was written over his entire face and Josh remember how his stomach sunk when he saw it.  
  
He, in his fucked up state, thought that Chris would laugh it off. He thought that Chris would understand. It was just a prank. But he didn't, and Josh had never been so angry at himself.  
  
Josh hadn't heard Chris' voice since that night. He had been ignoring Chris' text messages and calls through out the week because he was too scared. Too scared to hear what Chris had to say. The last person on earth he wanted to fight with was Chris. He meant the world to Josh, and Josh couldn't handle another loss.  
  
But now, his arms were shaking and his chest felt heavy from anxiety. He desperately needed to hear Chris' voice, even though if what Chris wanted to say was that he no longer wanted to deal with Josh anymore.  
  
He just needed to hear that voice again, the voice that made him feel like home. Even if it meant it would be the last time.  
  
Shakily, he brought his phone out from his pocket. The display flashed the time. 1.46 am.  
  
Nervousity made him shake even more and a lump formed in his throat. His finger trembled as he automatically pressed the speed dial button, just like he had done so many times before.  
  
His number popped up on the display and the signals started after a few seconds. He pressed his phone close to his ear and hummed along to the signals to try to calm himself down.  
  
__  
One signal.  
  
  
His grip around his phone tightened.

   
_Two signals._

  
The nervousity grew stronger for every second. One part of him wished he wouldn't pick up. Another other desperately begged him to.  
  
  
_Three signals._  
  
  
He still stared at himself in the mirror. The dark green eyes still stared back at him, but now they were wide open in fear.  
  
  
_Four signals._  
  
  
He wasn't going to pick up.  
  
  
_Five signals._  
  
  
Disappointment hit Josh harder than he thought it would. He knew he never should've tried. Chris hates him now, he should've known. But just as he was about to put the phone down, a click was heard on the other side of the line.  
  
_“Josh?”_  
  
  
Josh's breath got caught in his throat from surprise and all emotions that he had bottled up during the week bubbled up inside of him before he could think.  
  
  
“C-chris,” His throat tightened and he struggled to form words. There was so much he wanted to say. “I-I..”  
  
  
_“Oh, Josh, thank god!”_ Chris cut him off, his voice sounding somewhat unstable. _“I was so worried man, why didn't you answer me? I though you had like...”_  
  
  
Chris' voice broke and it sounded like he was fighting to hold back tears.  
  
  
_“I thought you were dead. L-like sucidie or something, o-oh god.”_  
  
  
“Chris...” When Josh heard his friend cry, he couldn't hold back any longer himself. “I-I am so, so sorry.”  
  
  
_“I'm on my w-way to you now. I'll be there in ten minutes.”_

 __  
Josh was pretty sure he could hear how his phone cracking under the pressure of how hard he held it.  
  
  
“O-okay, I'll be right here.”  
  
  
_“Good.”_  
  
  
Josh heard through the phone that Chris was walking and he intensely listened to every one of his ragged breaths. They were both quiet during those ten long and torturous minutes, and when Josh heard the echo of Chris knocking on his door he completely lost it. With tears streaming down his face, he ran to open the door and almost got the wind knocked out of him when Chris tightly embraced him.  
  
  
“Oh my god, Josh...”  
  
  
Josh burried his face into Chris' big and cozy winter jacket, and the relief made him dizzy.  
  
  
“I thought you hated me.” He almost incoherently mumbled into the jacket and he felt Chris shake his head against his shoulder.  
  
  
“You aren't a bad person Josh, and I know that.”  
  
  
Josh breathed out a loud sob and tightened the embrace around the blonde.  
  
  
“I didn't mean to hurt anyone, Chris. It was just a prank. They all hate me now, don't they? I just want them to understand.” He struggled to catch his breath, and Chris stroke soothing circles on his back.  
  
  
“Calm down Josh, it's okay.” The familiarity of Chris' calm and soothing voice instantly calmed Josh down, allowing him to breathe. “I know you didn't want to hurt anyone. You are too good for that.”  
  
  
Josh closed his eyes and sighed.  
  
  
“I'm sorry.”  
  
  
The strong arms around Josh suddenly loosened their grip.  
  
  
“Josh, look at me.”  
  
  
When Josh first didn't dare to, he felt two fingers under his chin forcing him to look his friend in the eyes. Chris' blue eyes looked back at him, a mix of emotions swirling around in them. Josh couldn't make out what it was, but it made him nervous and uneasy.  
  
Flashbacks to when he saw the sadness in his friend's eyes that night, all of that sadness directed towards Josh. Josh was the one who caused it. Josh was the one who made his friend feel that way, after all the good things he had done to him.  
  
Suddenly, he felt sick by just being in the same room as Chris. He pulled away from him and turned his head, unable to look into his eyes any longer.  
  
“I can't.” He shook his head and fixated his gaze on his feet.  
  
“Why?” Chris sounded genuinly surprised by Josh's refusal. Josh just shook his head again and hesitated for a few seconds.  
  
“I- well, I remember the disappointment in saw in everyone's eyes and I see it in your eyes when I look at you.”  
  
“I'm not disappointed in you. Well yeah, I was when you revealed it because I was really stressed out but, I know that you didn't mean to hurt anyone.” Josh felt the strong arms around him again, and the tears were threatening again. “Everything will be okay.”  
  
Josh wanted to believe those words so desperately. If this was in any other situation, there would be no way those words would've gotten to him. But now, when he is in the arms of the person who means the most to him, he couldn't help but to let the words get to him. He felt safe, he felt okay.  
  
He finally got a break from the terrible guilt that ate him alive. A break from the worries, a break from the chaos that was his mind.  
  
The storm inside him was temporarily calm and the pain numbed.  
  
And in this moment, his world were silent.  
  
_Everything will be okay._

 


End file.
